Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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