If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
