Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
