Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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