I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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