Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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