drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
