so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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