She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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