I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
