I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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