we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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