great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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