I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize