This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
