Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
