As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
