There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
tell your sister to shave her snatch
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
