bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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