Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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