i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
