"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize