there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
