People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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