"it" just moved
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
