Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
