Is it normal to miss your booty call?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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