i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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