i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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