Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
