When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
