The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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