i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize