Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
