i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
