Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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