I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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