My friends, they love my intelligence
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Randomize
