so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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