8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize