What a fucking waste of an outfit
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize