Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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