you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
