I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
