can we get nightvision for the apartment?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
