I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
