When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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