Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
