Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That accounts for only three of the penises
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize