im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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