They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
