Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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