Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize