Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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