Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
